Before we both got involved in what we currently feel are the best relationships of our lives, we were once lovelorn and hopelessly confused as to what to do about it… Kristina was married for 6 years and after Year 3 everything went south! Her husband, who had once been so attentive and caring, who brought her gifts every week after work and even cooked for her most mornings, started to withdraw from the marriage.
He was admittedly totally uninspired to love her and was trying hard to even honor their commitment. She was lost in the dark and the more she tried to find a way back to a solid connection with him, the further they grew apart.
She spent countless nights alone , confused by men’s behavior and wondering what she had done to make the good ones stop calling after the first or second date.
Now … The secret is about knowing HOW to express your feelings to your man (even if it’s the first date) so that he will jump to his feet and break his back to please you! We know this but only after having figured it out on our own, after many years of expressing ourselves the wrong way.
She felt horrible and desperate inside . She tried to ignore the distance between them… it didn’t work. So she tried to talk to him about it … that really didn’t work. And he withdrew further. Then she started to go emotionally unhinged . Crying and pleading, screaming and yelling. She was totally desperate for answers and she felt like she was on the brink of a breakdown. Some days she would stuff down all her horrible feelings and insecurities and pretend things were okay between her and him.
We both THOUGHT men didn’t like our emotions, didn’t want to hear our feelings and didn’t want to take care of our hearts, so we kept our emotions hidden as long as we could.
She’d go out dancing and spend the night “on the hunt” for the right guy; however, most nights she’d go home angry and disillusioned by the lack of respectful attention she’d received from men.
And the secret to staying connected to him lies in HOW she communicates her feelings to him. Sarah , too, has been in a relationship with a wonderful man for five years now , and everyday he actually kisses her on the forehead and asks how she is feeling that day ! She turned everything around for herself when she STOPPED trying to be the Stepford-wife prototype that she thought every guy wanted her to be and started just letting men see her true feelings … however bad or good she felt that day.
And then he will usually think HE did something wrong. A quality man will not want to be around a woman who doesn’t trust him enough to express herself to him.
In love there are two things: bodies and words. -Joyce Carol Oates We were wrong!! Men LOVE to take care of your feelings. It makes them feel on top of the world. Even men who are not that into you at first will still jump to do what they can to make you happy in their presence.
You stay bottled-up but you have a disharmonious vibe where your insides and outside don’t match and a man feels, in his gut, that something is not safe and fun about the relationship.
Some men would buy her drinks and engage her in considerate conversation, but when they took her number, if they took her number , they’d usually call two or three weeks later and would be looking for just a sexual relationship .
She didn’t understand how this man who had once wooed her, chased her, praised her, cuddled her every night, no longer loved her or cherished her and was only sticking around because he “cared about her as a person.” Love is never really lost you just have to look for it.
It started to feel like she was living with a cold-shouldered stranger . He stopped initiating sex, spent more time out with his friends, no longer put effort into birthday and anniversary gifts.
See, after MANY years of heartache, we have discovered an easy, natural method of expressing yourself to a man that will make him respond to your emotional needs EVERY TIME.
And it wasn’t like he didn’t want things to change. He tried too, but everything he forced himself to do to help things along lasted a week , maybe a month and then his true feelings were leading his behavior once more.